|
 |
|
THINGS NOT TO DO IN TEXAS
06.25.2001
- Make snide remarks to your friend about a band when the band's friends are standing behind you.
- Accidentally insinuate to a girl that she might indeed have the big ass she was complaining about by stating that it's all right because you like them on the 'larger side.'
- Mention anything about how the state capitol building being thirteen feet taller than the nation's capitol is really a manifestation of a Texan inferiority complex.
- Tell a drunk forty year old drunk mother of two that you'd rather call her a cab than take her back to your hotel. By doing so you'll fail the 'Austin' test as to whether there is 'love in your cold New York heart.'
- Question whether Austin is in fact known as the 'live music capitol of the world' or rather the city that calls its self such.
- Throw your pool cue on the table and launch into a drunken tirade as to what happens to 'mother fuckers' that cheat at pool like he did.
- Refuse to buy the wagered drink when he says he doesn't give a 'shit' as to where Letterman is filmed, you forfeited the game and owe a Jack & Coke.
- Leave eight plays of the Village People's YMCA on the juke box as punishment to the hotel bartender for closing early the night before. It may seem funny at first but in retrospect you'll realize why people hate New Yorkers.
- Though tempting, avoid buying the shirt that reads 'don't mess with southern whoop ass' even if it is six dollars because if there is one indication that you're not from around those parts, that shirt is it.
- Make fun of the guys that wear cowboy hats because Texas is probably the one place that anyone can get away with it.
MAIL this to a friend. They'll thank you for it later.
| |
|
