A spudWorks Screenplay II
01.22.2001
EXT - GORKY PARK, MOSCOW
SPY BOSS
So you know what it is you have to do, comrade?
SPY
Da. I will infiltrate the Goddard Space Flight Center in Washington D.C. and discover what advances the Capitalist pigs are holding back from the International Space Station.
SPY BOSS
Good. You're the best, that's why we're sending you. Good luck comrade. Gagarin would be proud.
INT - VISITORS CENTER, GODDARD.
Slow day, no one around but some NASA scientists who volunteered to show people around. With no one present, they entertain themselves by conducting centrifuge experiments on each other by spinning themselves around in desk chairs.
SPY dressed as American tourist
I love NASA!
SCIENTIST
Really?
SPY
YES!
SCIENTIST
Can I show you around?
SPY
That would be FANSTASTIC!
SCIENTIST
Super cool. So here's a back up satellite that's the exact duplicate that I used to be charged with keeping in it's geo-synchronous orbit.
SPY
Wonderful! What is NASA working on now?
SCIENTIST
Would you like me to take you down to see the Mission Control?
SPY
Yes!
INT - GODDARD CONTROL
SCIENTIST
My badge gets me into almost anywhere. Let's see if we can get in here. I'm in love with a woman who works on the Sun project.
SPY
I don't want to know about the Sun project. I want to know more about the Space Platform For Nuclear Deployment we last saw.
SCIENTIST
I can't say any more about that. It's secret.
SPY
If I were to make the woman fall for you, would you tell me?
SCIENTIST
Geez! I'd tell you anything you wanted to know. Hell, I'd let you fire off a few rockets if you wanted to.
SPY
Good. Let me meet this woman.
INT - LOCAL D.C. PIZZIARIA
SPY
...so my, com... err, friend really likes you. He can't tell you himself because of internal NASA policy regarding dating, and he's just very sensitive and is afraid of rejection.
WOMAN
He told you this?
SPY
From horses mouth.
WOMAN
I don't know why I believe you. Maybe it's the wily charm you posess.
SPY
Perhaps.
INT - GODDARD CONTROL
SCIENTIST
So this sets the coordinates, and this fires. Got it?
SPY
Everything.
EXT - GORKY PARK, MOSCOW
SPY BOSS
You have done well, better than I expected even. You shall receive a commendation for this from whomever is in charge today.
SPY
Everyone's happy today.
FADE TO CREDITS.
01.22.2001
Think romantic comedy meets Tom Clancy. That's what were talking about here.
SPY BOSS
So you know what it is you have to do, comrade?
SPY
Da. I will infiltrate the Goddard Space Flight Center in Washington D.C. and discover what advances the Capitalist pigs are holding back from the International Space Station.
SPY BOSS
Good. You're the best, that's why we're sending you. Good luck comrade. Gagarin would be proud.
INT - VISITORS CENTER, GODDARD.
Slow day, no one around but some NASA scientists who volunteered to show people around. With no one present, they entertain themselves by conducting centrifuge experiments on each other by spinning themselves around in desk chairs.
SPY dressed as American tourist
I love NASA!
SCIENTIST
Really?
SPY
YES!
SCIENTIST
Can I show you around?
SPY
That would be FANSTASTIC!
SCIENTIST
Super cool. So here's a back up satellite that's the exact duplicate that I used to be charged with keeping in it's geo-synchronous orbit.
SPY
Wonderful! What is NASA working on now?
SCIENTIST
Would you like me to take you down to see the Mission Control?
SPY
Yes!
INT - GODDARD CONTROL
SCIENTIST
My badge gets me into almost anywhere. Let's see if we can get in here. I'm in love with a woman who works on the Sun project.
SPY
I don't want to know about the Sun project. I want to know more about the Space Platform For Nuclear Deployment we last saw.
SCIENTIST
I can't say any more about that. It's secret.
SPY
If I were to make the woman fall for you, would you tell me?
SCIENTIST
Geez! I'd tell you anything you wanted to know. Hell, I'd let you fire off a few rockets if you wanted to.
SPY
Good. Let me meet this woman.
INT - LOCAL D.C. PIZZIARIA
SPY
...so my, com... err, friend really likes you. He can't tell you himself because of internal NASA policy regarding dating, and he's just very sensitive and is afraid of rejection.
WOMAN
He told you this?
SPY
From horses mouth.
WOMAN
I don't know why I believe you. Maybe it's the wily charm you posess.
SPY
Perhaps.
INT - GODDARD CONTROL
SCIENTIST
So this sets the coordinates, and this fires. Got it?
SPY
Everything.
EXT - GORKY PARK, MOSCOW
SPY BOSS
You have done well, better than I expected even. You shall receive a commendation for this from whomever is in charge today.
SPY
Everyone's happy today.
FADE TO CREDITS.