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A SPUDWORKS SCREENPLAY 08.28.2000 EXT - SIDEWALK IN FRONT EMPLOYEE 1 I can't take this shit anymore. (Deep drag on cigarette) I've started seeing a therapist again. EMPLOYEE 2 Well... all said, that's probably for the best. (Deep drag on cigarette, and swig from flask) I've got my own therapy. EMPLOYEE 1 Yeah. I've noticed you started up your heroine habit again. Say, can I get a hit? INT - EXECUTIVE OFFICES CEO (on phone) Greed - you mark my words - will not only save Teldar Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A. What? Nah? Lunch is for wimps. Yeah yeah, talk at'cha. (Hangs up) RECEPTIONIST Sir? Mr. Schmitt is here to talk to you about the writing position? CEO I don't have time for that crap, take him down to The Editor. Let her deal with him. (as door closes) If you need a friend, get a dog! INT - EDITORIAL FLOOR, EDITOR'S OFFICE. EDITOR (Blindfolded, talking to a group of Lebanese terrorists) You've seen "spudWorks". So you know our reputation for integrity and objectivity. You also know we are the highest-rated, most-respected, Web-magazine news site in America. Pauses Now do I make the call or not? RECEPTIONIST Excuse me? I have Mr. Schmitt here to interview? (Everyone turns to look, even those blindfolded) EDITOR Get the fuck out! Can't you see this is important?! EXT - SIDEWALK IN FRONT EMPLOYEE 1 And that was my interview. EMPLOYEE 2 Can I have another swig? MAIL this to a friend. They'll thank you for it later. | |