08.19.2008
So... remember that story at Asimov's that I was all hot and bothered about because they were way over their average? Well... for those who don't, it was The Legend Of Varad Ranjani, or, Those Short-Sighted Close-Minded Bastards On Earth and it was out for forty-three days.
Or... so I thought.
Nope, turns it out it was only out for thirty-six.
For those who haven't been keeping up, I mark my response times by the postmark on the envelope. It seemed like a fair way to do things. You know, the letter--if it's dated--may be for one day but if you consider that it's probably interns doing the mailing and factor that in, the date the post office marks it seems like the truer gauge. Or it did.
Today's August the fucking nineteenth and I just got my Asimov's response back. Postmarked on the twelfth. Seven days! Seven fucking days did it take them to deliver a letter from Park Avenue South to East Fourth Street.
Firstly, it's the same damned city. Don't they have a special sorting process for in-town mails? But secondly, and I forgive those of you too unfortunate to live here, but Park Ave South is maximum, maximum, thirty-eight blocks away from me. It only runs up to Forty-Second Street.
So it took them seven days to deliver a piece of mail that I could have walked up and brought back myself in three hours and charged us (me) for the privilege. Screw you, US Piece (of) Shit.
Yeah. You heard me.
But, of course, the Federal Government has given the lock on mails to the USPS so that it's not like a competitor can open shop and put those dumb, sub-educated fucks out of business like they deserve. That would be the American thing to do. But, nope....
Nope...
Sigh...
(I do feel like I should take a moment here to say that I in no way hold Asimov's or their fine editors responsible for this cock-up. They have done an admirable job and I thank them for the their time.)
Alrighty, so that makes rejection number fifty-four. And! We have broken the yearly high for rejections at twenty-one. I'm setting a real bar to surpass for next year, I'll tell you.
Le'me see... This marks only the first of what is sure to be many rejections for Varad Ranjani. And I still have four out. Three of which can be responded to via email. So I might have news for you while I'm on holiday.
Okay, kids. Take care.