The following was received on the morning of April 1st, 2002 and while, because of the date, many people might be willing to regard this as a hoax, spudWorks takes every piece of mail seriously. Below is Mr. Ferm's reponse.

Good day,

I must say that I am impressed with your ability to limit your words and prevent run-on sentences. My counting might be off but to be able to limit yourself to a maximum of nine words is a skill I have yet to acquire. And, frankly, I do thank you for the fact the words you did use as they were so simple in themselves and arranged in such an uncomplicated manner that even if I had no more than a third grade reading level, I still could have understood.

And while we're on the subject of sentences, I merely want to say that the first two seemed very reasonable to me. "How about that review" indeed! And while you disagree, as two people are prone to doing, I can also understand that. I suppose it is your third that threw me from the horse of civility on which I thought we both rode. An idiot? Surely that is too strong of a word when talking about a mediocre band from Sacramento? While they might in fact be a fun and slightly goofy band, I hardly thought they would be worthy of the kind of devotion your words seem to describe.

And good sir - I say sir though I am not sure whether you are a man or woman as you failed to include your own name but I still wish to regard you in some manner - I must say that I disagree with your own disagreement. I feel that the longer a band stays the same, the more they will lose respect. Fans may like Cake's music but surely they are not so foolish as to want to buy the same album for the third time. I hope you would agree.

Now, I must tell you, I object profusely to being called a "Mr. Smartypants" and should you continue down this road I may challenge you to a duel. My pistols are well oiled sir, so beware! I will forgive your trespass upon me however because I believe you misunderstand the situation. I do not have a "job" that allows me to criticize other people. Rather, this is something I enjoy doing in my spare time. I am not jealous of people for successful than myself though I would be the last one to cry should they lose their good fortune. I see no reason why I will regret this stance later.

Now, good sir, you have insulted me enough and I must return to my manor as I must be well rested for the fox hunt through my grounds tomorrow. Should you wish to continue this dialogue, I would be most interested ing hearing your side but I cannot promise what my reaction will be so choose your words with great care.

- Colin