Many internet companies today are no longer started by a couple of kids who dropped out of school with a cool idea. Frequently, the people running today's online businesses are investment banker-Wall street types who don't really understand the way true web workers operate. As such, and to prevent their little fast money enterprises from sinking too long before their time, the spudWorks web team has put together a list of helpful hints for you hapless businessmen.

• There is usually a technology manager who knows how to work with their team. You don't, so don't ever, ever, go directly to a member of the tech staff.
• Decide on a list of projects that you want done. Once that list is handed to the tech team, don't come back until it's done, and don't even think about trying to get a project "re-prioritized."
• If you don't know technology, don't pretend you do.
• If you don't know technology and you ask why, don't use the phrase, "I still don't get it."
• Technology people don't care about meetings and making them attend will be the sure way to lose your staff.
• Pay them very very well.
• Offer lot's and lot's of time off. They won't use most of it, but they'll quit if offered more elsewhere.
• Beer on Friday's is a good thing, but only if it's provided free.
• The tech team doesn't like you. Don't think that will ever change.
• It doesn't matter how many years you've gone to whatever school, you're still less intelligent than the tech team drop out.

While this may sound like a list of impossibilities the fact is that spudWorks has operated under the very same list of principals and has so far had 0% turnover since launching, and we know it's not the upcoming IPO. Memorize this list. Know it. Love it.

- Colin Ferm