People always think they know what to expect from New York when they first move here then, usually, they settle into a cloud of depression. It happens. Even to the best of us. So, in order to put therapists out of business (or at least make them work a little harder) here are a few common sense tips from a California boy since relocated to New York City.

1. Don't move here if you're sober or don't smoke. It's for your own good.
2. Don't ask people to put out their smoke. Unless you have health insurance or a will that is.
3. If you find a hip bar, go there only on the weeknights. Chances are, a few others also think it's pretty cool, but aren't as smart.
4. Learn the subway. It's not tough and you'll be the better for it.
5. Buy a heavy winter coat. Weather reports always seem to forget to report wind chill.
6. People here are actually pretty nice, but if you get in their way they will knock you on your ass.
7. The con men here are still the best there are. You won't know it either until it's too late.
8. Jersey sucks. Know it. Love it.
9. Live where you want, but know that every neighborhood comes with preconceived ideas.
10. Don't try to beat the system, just pay the damn broker.

If you live by these very simple rules, you'll do fine. There are more, but something's have to be learned on their own.